Waiting Impatiently

I wouldn’t say I’m a control freak, necessarily, but I do like to know what to expect.  I just like to know what is going on and when it’s happening.  I like to have things somewhat planned out, which makes being married to a fisherman especially frustrating.  I feel like I never know what’s going on.  Not only do we never know how much money we will make, but it’s not until the last minute that we know when Zed will be leaving, and it’s usually not until he’s already on his way home that I know when he’ll be back.

I always have to ask  (I can’t help myself!) even though I know it’s a dumb question – every time Zed leaves on a fishing trip, I ask “any idea when you’ll be back?”  Zed very patiently tries to give me an estimate, but I know it means very little, fishing is too unpredictable.

At the moment, Zed is on a fishing trip out of Seward, AK.  So I’m waiting, waiting, waiting to hear from him to know that he’s safe and find out how their trip went.  And then I will wait and wait through some more trips until he can finally come home.  He’s been up there a month now and it could be another month or two before he’s done (please, please let it be sooner!).

Atticus and Larkyn looking out the window

I think I’ve grown a little more patient over the last seven years (the time Zed and I have been together), but the problem is, well…  kids change everything.  As I am getting better at waiting, the kids are getting worse.  When they were really little, they hardly noticed when their dad left.  Now they get genuinely sad and they ask me constantly, “when is Dad coming home?”  And then I have to give them some vague answer (because I don’t actually know) like “a little while longer, honey, Dad has a few more fish to catch.”


2 thoughts on “Waiting Impatiently

  1. I’m enjoying your writings, they are a bit like re-living my life as a wife of a fisherman. An interesting addition to this is that I was a child of a fisherman as well. This meant I too grew up with that nagging question of when is dad coming home. My kids use to ask “when is dad coming home” this soon changed to “how long is he going to be gone?” We survived with the long frequent periods of single parenting… it was always easy. I”m sure you know that. It looks like you realize the importance of making time for the things you love. Hang in there!
    A survivor in Sitka Alaska

    • Thanks Ruth!
      It is always good hearing from people that have survived raising kids in this lifestyle… sometimes I feel like I’m not going to make it, but we always push through. Right now we are trying to shift Zed’s fishing to stay mostly in Washington, so he’s not gone from home as long. He’s leaving today on a Halibut/blackcod trip, but he will only be gone a week and a half. Much more manageable than 4 months!

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